My freshman year at Louisiana College was eye-opening on many levels.

Level 1: thinking I had signed up for a Christian college. In all actuality, what I signed up for was a strict Southern Baptist college. This wouldn’t be such a big deal/huge shock, if I wasn’t a devout Catholic (devout, not perfect).

I’m not going to get into the differences of Catholicism vs Protestantism because that’s beyond the scope of this blog post. But there are some specific phrases or “sayings” that I had never heard of until attending mandatory chapel.

A little backstory for those who aren’t Catholic: Catholic church follows a specific calendar that the entire Catholic faith uses. The priest doesn’t get to decide what to talk about that day, readings are selected that the entire faith hears that particular Sunday. The only thing that differs is how the priest presents the Homily, or his message on how to apply the readings to today.

Needless to say, attending chapel was a Level 2 eye opener for me. My freshman semester specifically was the hardest for me to stomach. I forget his name, but I called the preacher/speaker/whatever he was “Dr. Roman” because he could never seem to get out of the book of Romans. He had this one phrase in particular that drove me wild. I had never in my life heard someone say “carry your cross” and the fact that he said it 3454972 times that semester drove me CRAZY. “You gotta carry your cross to Calvary” (Calvary was again, not something this Catholic was use to hearing). After preaching for weeks about how we were not worthy of Jesus’ love/ hell,fire, and brimstone kind of preaching I tuned the guy out and chuckled every time someone said “carry your cross”.

Flash forward to now, 7 years later and I finally figured out he meant by “cross”.

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I read this quote two weeks ago and it has been stuck in my brain ever since.

Hmm. What weighs me down that isn’t mine to carry? At the surface all that my mind could consider “weight” was the typical burdens everyone bears. Financial, work, home/family stress. Then I dug further.

One of my flaws is being critical about things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. I’ve gotten a lot better than I use to be, but here lately I catch myself saying things that sound overly opinionated and critical. If I see decor I don’t like I wonder “who would arrange things like that?” If I see a haircut I would never get I think “bless her heart, she ain’t got a clue”. If I see people acting a way I would never act I think “Lord have mercy these are some tacky-ass people”. Yes, Lord and ass in the same sentence because that’s the irony of my life.

Then I dug further. WHY do I even think critical thoughts in the first place? Why is MY way of arranging material possessions superior to someone else? This way of thinking was learned, I spent the majority of my young life laughing at the hilarious comments my mom would make regarding the way other people did things. Once I realized that the root cause was an external influence, it made me question my own thoughts and perspectives. Were my opinions solely my own, or was I “weighed down” by someone else’s opinion?

BOOM-SHA-KA-LA-KA!

Other people’s problems/decisions/opinions AIN’T MY CROSS. It’s theirs. They have to deal with the repercussions of their decisions, not me. Why waste my time being bothered by their decor/haircut/outfit when it ain’t my problem? Why am I worried about their “cross” and not focused on self development to carry my own?

It. Ain’t. My. Cross.

Now, when I catch myself being overly opinionated and critical I mentally mutter “ain’t my cross” and move on.

What’s weighing you down? Is it your cross or someone else’s?

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What if I told you there was only ONE thing you had to change to be happier/more fulfilled/ successful?

Would you believe me? Would you try it?

It’s a hard thing to change, I myself have fallen short many times.

What is it?

Your mind.

Cliche, I know, but I promise this post gets better so keep reading.

Most people hate change. Why? Cause it’s different. Cause we are comfortable with the way things currently are. And even if we are uncomfortable in some aspects of life (relationship, weight, career, etc) it’s easier to stay uncomfortable than to actually do something about it. AmIRight?!

So not only am I telling you that you need to change, I’m telling you that you need to change the hardest part. Skeptical yet? It’s okay, don’t be.

How do we change our mind? By putting systems in place in our life that allow us to cultivate the life we aspire to have. The simplest and easiest system is GOAL Setting.

Goal Setting allows you to focus on slowly changing one piece of the pie at a time. Trying to go 100% all out, in a new direction will most likely cause you to fail. You’ll say “this sucks/isn’t worth it/is too hard” and will give up because you are frustrated. Goal setting allows you to feel successful in the little victories, which lead to the big victories.

When was the last time you set a goal for yourself?

If you’re like most people, it was probably to meet a deadline at work, or to have the house clean before company came over. More often than not, adults only know how to goal set things “they really don’t care about but are important to other people so they attempt to make it a priority.” Sound familiar?

And even though you didn’t really care about the goal specifically, only the side effects (keeping your job, not being judged by your in-laws), you still managed to get it done. Now think about what would happen if you goal set something you actually cared about? How powerful would that be? The euphoria you feel when you achieve something that really matters to you is indescribable. It’s also somewhat addicting.

I have 2 sizes of goals, Big Goals and Mini Goals. Mini Goals are the baby steps I take to achieve the Big Goals.

Hopefully you’re bought into goal setting at this point. I’m going to share a bit of my life/goals so you can see how I personally apply this to my life

Currently, one of my Big Goals (for myself) is to live the happiest and healthiest life while inspiring others to do the same. How do I do this? By creating systems to ensure I am meeting my mini goals.

1. I use the free app, MyFitnessPal to track oz of water, total calories, % of carbs/fats/proteins. When I drink 80ish oz of water & consistently eat a low carb/ketogenic diet I am MUCH happier. Logging my food & water ensures I am staying on track.
2. Social Media- I have an Instagram account solely dedicated to staying inspired, as well as inspiring others to live a healthy & fit life. ( @allison_chamberlin)
3. Fitbit- I have had a Fitbit for 3 years and it has definitely been the easiest way to stay motivated and to push myself. First Goal of the day is to hit my step goal, then if I’m feeling extra I’ll pick a person who is “ahead” of me in weekly steps and challenge myself to beat them. Being competitive helps 😉 . I can invite people to weekly or daily challenges. There are so many easy ways to stay accountable when you have an activity tracker.
4. Daily workouts- I work out 5-6 days a week and I would be lying if I said I was ALWAYS motivated. Sometimes it sucks to hit the gym alone, sometimes I’d rather be sleeping, and sometimes I feel “too stressed” to give myself the gift of gym time. But if I can get myself to the gym, or to a part of the house where I can workout, then I’m golden. The hardest part is showing up. Once I get going if I’m still kind of half-assing it then I redirect my attention. It’s not about the entire workout, it’s about what I’m doing right now. I tell myself “I just have to make it through this set” and then I push myself to make it through another, and another.
5. Rewards- When I reallllly want something extra (workout clothes, shoes, etc) I make myself work for it. Example: Stay on track for 2 weeks with no junk food and you can order X,Y, or Z. Feeling like you are working towards something other than just “being fit” is sometimes the extra motivation you need.

Here’s how all of that actually occurs in my daily life.

Typically I work out before work, but this is ESPECIALLY true on Mondays. There is no better way for me to start my work week than kicking ass at the gym and rolling into work still high on endorphins. When I went to sleep Sunday night I told myself “You’re going to have an amazing week and you’re going to kick off Monday with a killer workout & eat all the healthy things you meal-prepped.” However, yesterday I totally slept through my alarms and missed my AM gym session. Okay, no big deal, I can still have a good day I thought to myself as I scrambled in & out of the shower. I made a plan to hit the gym after work & packed my gym bag. I was determined to have a successful day and not let A THING get in my way. And you know what, Monday was freaking great. I smiled the whole way to work, took care of business, ate all the healthy things (& logged them in MyFitnessPal) and then KILLED it at the gym. I pushed myself by up’ing all my weights in the leg workout I was doing & then decided to push myself and get on the stair master for 10 minutes before leaving. 3 minutes into the stair master I was dying. My new goal was “make it to 5 minutes”. 5 minutes came and my legs were still attached so my next goal was “make it to 10 minutes”, then it became “make it to the end of this song”, which led to”make it to your step goal”, which turned into “make it to 400 calories burned” and finally, “make it to 20 minutes”. 21 stair master minutes later, my sweat was sweating! I had achieved all my goals. I more than doubled my original goal and broke the mental barriers I put up along the way. I came home and was in the best dang mood –being all silly and dancing around the kitchen with my dogs and my husband jokingly said “Who are you? Where is the woman I married?” The endorphins were REALLLLL you guys!

This is only ONE example of how I use goal setting to live my best life. I apply it in every aspect of my life, but I’ll save those examples for another day 🙂

 

Moral of the story: If you want to change your life, you have to change your mind. If you want to change your mind, you have to do it slowly. Goal setting will help you change your lifestyle in a realistic manner and allow you to be happy during the process, cause who doesn’t love achieving a goal?

XOXO,

Allison

 

A wise boss of mine once said “Make it up? How are you going to ‘make up’ missing sales plan from today? You can’t get those customers back. The new people walking in, sure you can capitalize on them but you can NEVER get back the missed opportunity that walked out the door”.

That was a year and a half ago and every time I miss a goal of mine I think about how true those words are.
How easy is it to become complacent and justify our daily shortcomings with “I can make it up tomorrow”. Or, “I can clean the dishes/study/tackle the ever growing to-do list tomorrow” or “I can be a better wife tomorrow”.

Ouch. Yeah I said it.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been a shitty wife in the (almost) 5 years I’ve been married. I’ve let my frustration & anger get the best of me. I’ve let my husband “put in the work” so to speak in our relationship while I sat back and did what was important TO ME (workout, eat super healthy, play on my phone, etc).
I’ve let attending mass on Sunday morning slide down the list of priorities. I’ve let the laundry & dishes pile up too long before taking care of it. I’ve let the dogs whine in the middle of the night until my husband rolled over to take them out.

I’ve let distractions get in the way.
I’ve let pride get in the way.
I’ve let selfishness get in the way.

Until I decided to stop. What would happen if I stopped thinking I could “fix it later”?

When you get into a heated argument and say things you don’t mean– why feel guilty? You can just make it up to him/her later right?
Why get up and tackle the laundry and dishes when you can do it later? Perusing Instagram and Facebook is way more fulfilling at the moment and chores are a bore. Besides, you can do it later.

But what if you stopped wasting time “making it up”. All those stupid arguments and insignificant distractions are wasted minutes. Minutes you can never get back (kind of like those prepaid cell phones minutes– are those still a thing?!) And I don’t know about you but for me, time is running out & I don’t have minutes to waste!

What if instead, you focused on ADDING minutes to your life.
When you don’t waste time bickering with your spouse, or being consumed in social media, or spending all day shopping (in store or online) for things you don’t need with money you don’t have- you are actually ADDING minutes to your life!
You will have more time to spend with the people who matter most. You will have more money when you stop impulse buying/ overspending and can visit family more or take that trip you’ve been dying to take, and have SOMETHING REAL to share with people.

Stop subtracting minutes.

Start adding time to your life❤